In Two Months

Two months to go. Two months until I turn the page, until I say goodbye to another chapter. Two months until I wake up every morning with a different purpose, a different agenda. Two months until what I wear starts to change, who I talk to starts to shift, what I do starts to cost me. Two months until I graduate college.

While I will not be leaving campus until May, I will be done with my college career by December 10th. After that day, I might never sit in a lecture hall again, scribbling notes while pretending to listen. And I may never meet another professor who can answer all of life’s hardest questions before blowing my mind about ethics. Everything is going to change.

And I think I am ready.

I’m beyond honored and fortunate to have a job lined up for post-grad, in my dream city working in an industry that excites me. I have a network of support and a backpack full of books and resources to help me through my first couple of months.

Yet, somehow, I have never felt as young and inexperienced as I do now.

I see recent grads come back to campus, and they look aged and refined. They stand taller and speak louder. Will I be like that? I look in the mirror some mornings and see the professional I am about to become. Other mornings I see a young girl aspiring to be something she is yet to be. I sit in class pondering everything I have yet to learn, everything I haven’t been taught. When I sit down to read books, I often wonder if my life will ever be successful enough so I can write a book of my own. I feel like a kid again who has just discovered what she wants to be when she grows up.

But, in two months. In two months I get to be her. The girl I always dreamed of. A college grad, with a job, with friends, with a supportive family and a future shoebox apartment in the big city.

How did 21 years so quickly become two months?